True Cause of WWI

George: The war started because of the vile Hun and his villainous empire-building!

Blackadder: George, the British Empire at present covers a quarter of the globe, while the German Empire consists of a small sausage factory in Tanganyika. I hardly think we can be entirely absolved from blame on the imperialistic front.

Baldrick: I heard that it started when a bloke called Archie Duke shot an ostrich 'cause he was hungry.

Blackadder: I think you mean it started when the Archduke of Austro-Hungary got shot.

Baldrick: Nah, there was definitely an ostrich involved, sir.

Blackadder: Well, possibly. But the real reason for the whole thing was that it was too much effort not to have a war.

George: By Gum, this is interesting! I always loved history. The Battle of Hastings, Henry VIII and his six knives and all that!

Blackadder: You see, Baldrick, in order to prevent a war in Europe, two super blocs developed: us, the French and the Russians on one side; and the Germans and Austro-Hungary on the other. The idea was to have two vast, opposing armies, each acting as the other's deterrent. That way, there could never be a war.

Baldrick: Except, well, this is sort of a war, isn't it?

Blackadder: That's right. There was one tiny flaw in the plan.

George: Oh, what was that?

Blackadder: It was bollocks.

Baldrick: So the poor old ostrich died for nothing, then!